Life and Faith

As I read through my journal,  you are the star of every page.  As my eyes scroll down the page,  you are the ache of every pain.  Everytime I see your name,  the wound in my heart breaks.   This journal reminds me of your beauty and my pain . 

How do we actually see sin? As Christians, we are told that sin is bad for us and that we should avoid it. We know that God, our father hates sin “For You are not a God who takes pleasure in wickedness; no evil dwells with You” ( Psalm 5:4 ). But how do we, as children of God see sin ourselves? I feel like, for many of us, we see sin as just a bad friend that our parents tell us not to hang out or play with. But in our heart, we still want this friend, we want pleasure and gratification that he provides. Often, we sneak out of the house in the middle of the night to go hang out with him. And when we get caught, we tell our parents that it won’t happen again, and we hide our bad friend in the closet of our bedroom until the next time we want to play with him. For many of us, we don’t hate sin enough. We enjoy the pleasure and gratification it provides; so, we keep sin around and close by. We think that we can master sin, we can tame it and bend it...

I love rain. I love the rain when I am at home. It is a calming feeling when you know you're safe within your own bedroom when the rain pours outside. Its like I'm in my own little cocoon. Where I feel comfortable and secure. God is our cacoon when there is chaos around us. God is shielding us. How great is that! Be free and confident in life. God is keeping you safe.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the topic of personal development. I think the desire for self-improvement is a good thing and we should always strive to be the best we can in life. How can we improve ourselves? One of the essential ingredients is work ethic. Without dedication and commitment to your goals, it will never be met. It is important to plan out a direction in what you want to improve and how you want to achieve it. And then commit yourselves to it until you reach your goal. It will be hard, and failures will most likely occur. But remember to get back up and keep going. Getting up is one of the hardest parts of achieving a goal. But it is also the most vital part, find the strength and keep moving forward. Now, there is one aspect of personal improvement that is integral to everything I've discussed so far. And that aspect is God. We can continuously strive for personal improvement but without God, our desires will never be fulfilled...

These aches,  I cannot control. It is always there, When I get close. It comes,  And it goes.  But it is always you,  That calls it home.  These aches,  That won't let go.

Rejection. It’s probably one of the worst feelings in the world. It makes us feel unloved, incompetent and incomplete. It hits likes a wound that cut deep in our heart. Rejection can come in many forms: career, relationships, familial, and spiritual. The scale of rejection can vary – it can be a minor rejection or a major rejection.  Whatever the form or scale, there is one thing in common with every rejection; you were denied something that you thought would make you feel happier. That is why it hurts so much, you thought you found another piece of your puzzle, but It gets knocked out of your hand. At that time, you feel like your life will never be complete now that a piece is gone. Therefore, the best thing we think we can do is to avoid rejection at all cost. We don’t want to risk the pain that comes from it. We start to limit our friendship circle, we become cautious about who we get close with, we want to make sure that the chance of rejection is minimal. But I thi...

My skin warms My feelings are blurred. I am uncertain But I can see it. I want to But I am afraid. One step at a time, But it’s too late. Now, it’s gone The spark extinguished. Left in the blackness. Was there ever a fire?